As I’ve mentioned before, I am reading this self-help book by Peter Jones and one of his many suggestions is to make a wish list, a list of things that you would really like to achieve – Not everything at once, but one small step at a time. At the top of mine was take better quality photo’s.
I have a friend, who takes the most amazing pictures and is a total inspiration to me. I could only wish to replicate a small understanding of photography that they have. The answer was a simple one. Enrol on my very first photography class (back to basics).
Four weeks ago I found a course and enrolled, unfortunately due to one problem after another, I have been unable to attend any classes. This evening was my return to class. For many people this would not be a problem, (it certainly wouldn’t be to my photographer friend), but the last 43 years whenever I’ve done something, I’ve always had someone with me (back up support), so the thought of entering a room on my own, of not having someone on the other side of the door that I would know (a safe haven) made me feel physically sick. My stomach twisted, my body began to shake uncontrollably, and at one point, I felt so sick that I nearly turned the car round to go home. (Even the thought of it now makes my stomach twist, hands shake and throwing up is quite high on my list of things next to do). Unless you’ve actually experienced the total fear and blind panic that thunders through your body on such an occasion, I think you would imagine that the person writing this had totally lost all understanding and reality on life. But I kid you not, this is how I felt.
The school loomed in front of me, encircled in pitch black, only the few eyes of the school shone out to show that life was carrying on inside. The moon some distance in the sky helped to light the car park and as I pulled the car to a stop on the gravel, switched the ignition off; I sat in the car and waited until the clock struck 7 before venturing into the unknown.
As I took each step forward I tried to remember all the words of encouragement that my councillor had given me on this. Opening the door I was greeted straight away by many of the students who were only to at ease to see another member join their ranks. Share their photo ideas, and discuss what possibilities the class could open up to us, with our many different cameras. My photo of the Moon in the morning was greatly received. This all made me feel that I had arrived somewhere, that I could enter without fear of rejection.