There are many times in one’s life, where you might find yourself, wondering about how your life is going and do you really matter or make any sort of a difference.  Today I found myself wondering such a thing – Not because I was finding that my depression had started kicking in again but as I sat between my husband and daughter in the second row of the Crematorium listening to a chosen few, say how much of an impact a certain beloved uncle, father and husband had had upon their lives.  I wondered if today had been my funeral, what would people say about me?
As I sat listening to friends and family relate stories of how Stuart had made them laugh, held their hand when they weren’t certain and been the rock that they could always lean on no matter the problem, I began to realise that maybe I didn’t know the man as well as I may have hoped.  That he wasn’t just the Jolly Uncle with the big white beard (that on the odd occasion resembled Father Christmas).  But to other people he had become so much more, and in doing these things Stuart had lead what could only have been a full and happy life.  No one’s life is a complete bed of roses, and just like every other person that you might wish to name, he had his health problems, times when things might not have been going as well as they could of.  But amidst all of this Stuart had always tried to be a good friend a loving husband and a wonderful and carrying father.  Furthermore I really don’t think that a person can ask for more.
So when my day does come and someone is standing up before my coffin and re-sighting tales about me, I hope I have proved to be at least as half as good, loving, wonderful and carrying person as Uncle Stuart had been in his life.
He was a very large man that everyone loved, cared for him and will now find that they have a large hole in their lives, that once this wonderful man had stood.
Dearest Stuart you will always be missed, but never forgotten

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